Charlene spoke at SCC in October 2011 during the celebration of Pride Month on campus. Her personal story is compelling and heartbreaking. You can watch the documentary, "For My Wife," on Netflix. As a speaker, she is equally compelling as an advocate for equality and civil rights. Armed with her own story and facts and stats to back up her position and mission, it is hard to argue with her.
Thank you, Charlene, for allowing me to repost your message here.
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| Charlene Strong |
People ask why there should be same sex marriage, why does there need
to be a legal recognition of my committed relationship? Here's one
reason why.
In 2006 I discovered the realities of not having the protections of legal recognition in our state and country. Instead of being given the same right - human rights - to be with my partner as she lay dying in a hospital room, I was instead, literally, left to beg and plead with hospital staff to allow me to be by her side when she passed away. It was discriminatory, humiliating, and tragic.
Much has changed since that night in 2006; in fact, the world now resembles very little of my life then. However, the decision I made in that painful time is still the driving force of my life. I made a decision to stand up and say that what my late partner and I experienced was an atrocity, an action of compassionless decisions that had tremendous ramifications that resulted in needless suffering.
I spoke to the Washington State house and senate hearings just a month after my partner's death in hopes that some understanding would ensue permitting domestic partnerships in Washington State. I spoke with a clarity that I did not know was possible, it came from a deep pain, but mostly from a deep love for another person.
Washington State now allows “some” of the legal protections that married couples enjoy. Being a State Registered Domestic Partner “should” allow us the same legal protections of Marriage, however it is proving to cause a multitude of confusions and misunderstandings.
I recently spoke with a woman who shared with me a story of immeasurable discomfort, fear and worry when her partner was hospitalized due to complications from giving birth to their second child. The story demonstrates that without the universal definition of marriage, same sex couples are left to deal with people's uniformed or ignorant interpretations of what exactly is a Domestic Partnership. This is causing needless misery. It is also greatly unjust.
She told me she had to stay home with their children, one of whom was only days old, when her partner returned to the hospital for observation. They ensured the staff had a copy of their Domestic Partnership Registry Card, and she was promised by staff that she would be called if any problems occurred during her partner's procedure. Later when she called the hospital asking to be connected to her partner's room, she was told no one was in that room. Frantically, she tried to find any information as to where her partner was. Rushing to the hospital with their newborn in her arms, she learned her partner had to have emergency surgery to save her life. She watched as hospital staff worked to revive her partner. The staff's explanation was that HIPPA laws needed to be followed...despite educating the staff of the provisions of their Domestic Partnership which gives her the right to have medical information about her partner.
Many opposed to allowing same-sex couples the rights and privileges of marriage argue that it is an advancement of the “homosexual agenda”...that it's a push for "marriage"...that granting equal rights to same-sex families would somehow violate another’s happiness and security.
Indeed, they are right on this fact - we do want marriage.
Actually, we are asking for nothing more than any other citizen in Washington State. Thousands of couples are waiting for compassion, understanding, and dignity for their families - not special rights. We want equal rights. We want the word marriage for the same reason everyone does: marriage is a universal word that means commitment. We want the same understanding and acknowledgment as any other loving family. We are asking for the same height of consideration when we need it most. We are asking for equality under the law. And frankly, it's ridiculous that we even have to ask.
Approving 74 hurts no one. Approving 74 is about agreeing with equality under the law. It supports love, commitment, and family.
In 2006 I discovered the realities of not having the protections of legal recognition in our state and country. Instead of being given the same right - human rights - to be with my partner as she lay dying in a hospital room, I was instead, literally, left to beg and plead with hospital staff to allow me to be by her side when she passed away. It was discriminatory, humiliating, and tragic.
Much has changed since that night in 2006; in fact, the world now resembles very little of my life then. However, the decision I made in that painful time is still the driving force of my life. I made a decision to stand up and say that what my late partner and I experienced was an atrocity, an action of compassionless decisions that had tremendous ramifications that resulted in needless suffering.
I spoke to the Washington State house and senate hearings just a month after my partner's death in hopes that some understanding would ensue permitting domestic partnerships in Washington State. I spoke with a clarity that I did not know was possible, it came from a deep pain, but mostly from a deep love for another person.
Washington State now allows “some” of the legal protections that married couples enjoy. Being a State Registered Domestic Partner “should” allow us the same legal protections of Marriage, however it is proving to cause a multitude of confusions and misunderstandings.
I recently spoke with a woman who shared with me a story of immeasurable discomfort, fear and worry when her partner was hospitalized due to complications from giving birth to their second child. The story demonstrates that without the universal definition of marriage, same sex couples are left to deal with people's uniformed or ignorant interpretations of what exactly is a Domestic Partnership. This is causing needless misery. It is also greatly unjust.
She told me she had to stay home with their children, one of whom was only days old, when her partner returned to the hospital for observation. They ensured the staff had a copy of their Domestic Partnership Registry Card, and she was promised by staff that she would be called if any problems occurred during her partner's procedure. Later when she called the hospital asking to be connected to her partner's room, she was told no one was in that room. Frantically, she tried to find any information as to where her partner was. Rushing to the hospital with their newborn in her arms, she learned her partner had to have emergency surgery to save her life. She watched as hospital staff worked to revive her partner. The staff's explanation was that HIPPA laws needed to be followed...despite educating the staff of the provisions of their Domestic Partnership which gives her the right to have medical information about her partner.
Many opposed to allowing same-sex couples the rights and privileges of marriage argue that it is an advancement of the “homosexual agenda”...that it's a push for "marriage"...that granting equal rights to same-sex families would somehow violate another’s happiness and security.
Indeed, they are right on this fact - we do want marriage.
Actually, we are asking for nothing more than any other citizen in Washington State. Thousands of couples are waiting for compassion, understanding, and dignity for their families - not special rights. We want equal rights. We want the word marriage for the same reason everyone does: marriage is a universal word that means commitment. We want the same understanding and acknowledgment as any other loving family. We are asking for the same height of consideration when we need it most. We are asking for equality under the law. And frankly, it's ridiculous that we even have to ask.
Approving 74 hurts no one. Approving 74 is about agreeing with equality under the law. It supports love, commitment, and family.
Love this!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shea!
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